Recently, I see many of these TV commercials for DNA testing to discover your genetic heritage… I don’t think that there is anything wrong with wanting to know more about your generational history; I believe the problem starts when those commercials are making it about “knowing who you are and where you belong by finding out your genetic background!”
I believe that “identities” are created by our experiences and interactions with others in our environments and shaped by our values and commitments in life. Problems arise when our experiences in our environment and the judgments and evaluations of the others in our lives are not consistent with the way we want to think about ourselves.
For instance, a little girl might really enjoy building structures and engaging in fun and creative projects on her own rather than playing with dolls with other girls her age. While this in itself does not seem to be a problem, the others in her life might feel that this is not a NORMAL behavior for a little girl, get concerned about her future and encourage her to play with other little girls… Sometimes, if these parents fail to get their daughter give up on her solitary projects and play normal games with normal little girls, they might take refuge in forcing her to do so, using threats or punishments… The situation can worsen, when her teacher voices her concerns about this little girl, saying that she does not engage in NORMAL behaviors of other little girls her age… The little girl might even be directed to see a counselor who would use a series of “professional tools” to get the little girl engage in NORMAL behaviors and interactions that the society deems appropriate for her…
You see… it’s since this very young age that all the messages from the environment are telling this little girl that she is not doing well in comparison with other girls her age… that she is “odd,” “weird,” “different,” or she can even be labeled as “bad.” And many years later, we have a young woman who does not feel that she belongs as she has been judged negatively by others for her preferences and values in life. The only chance for this young woman will be for her to re-invent herself with the understanding that being seen as “NORMAL” does not really matter. What really matters is to engage in doing what she enjoys doing, the way she wants to do it and that’s when she starts feeling happy again. This is the only way she will be able to create miracles in her life and shine with great accomplishments unique to her, no matter how big or small they are. So, in my opinion, “identity” is not truly defined by our genetic history but by our painstaking efforts to live a life consistent with our values and intentions despite a world that is constantly trying to shape us in ways accepted by our family, friends, partners, classmates, coworkers and society we are surrounded with…
So let’s re-invent a more powerful, successful you who feels free to choose her/his ways; a happier, more confident you who actually enjoys what she/he is doing rather than living an average boring life approved by the norms surrounding you… What say you?