Everyone can recall that overwhelmingly ideal feeling of being with their partner over the first year of their relationship.
Your heart would race every time they would call, you couldn’t wait to see them after work, and you both had the energy to go out and do things together even after long days at work.
Fast-forward to the present, and you’re now finding it hard to believe you ever really felt like that – you’re exhausted and just want to be alone after work, barely saying hello or exchanging a hug or a kiss when you come home. Little fights that you both would have dismissed in your first stages of dating turn into the silent treatment from one party to the other. Deep down, you wonder if your relationship is crumbling.
While the honeymoon phase may seem a distant memory, there is a way to replicate it and bring back that passion to your relationship.
I’ve worked with numerous couples on restoring the fire to their relationship and creating a happy and healthy partnership where they both are truly equals. If you’re at your wit’s end on how to make your relationship feel like it did long ago, here are a few tips to turn it around today!
- Keep It Simple: The words you most need in your relationship might surprise you. It’s not that three-word phrase, “I love you.” If you want to build your relationship back to its prime state, “Thank You” is one of the best phrases you can use. Why? Because everyone wants to know they are appreciated. That’s what a partnership is – giving of yourself to help out your partner. Saying “Thank You” more often is therapeutic and tells your partner you appreciate them immensely. Letting your partner know you’re grateful they made dinner or took out the garbage is a small but impactful way to let them know you would never take them for granted.
- Communicate: We all get into funks where we don’t feel like talking, especially if there’s recently been an argument in your relationship. While it’s okay to take timeto cool off after a heated discussion, communicating effectively and with an open mind is the only way to truly build your relationship up again. Always try to resolve the issue within that day, and respect one another’s points of view.
And remember: it IS okay to disagree! We are humans! And even though your partner may understand your perspective on most things, it doesn’t mean he or she will always understand where you are coming from. It is okay to not see eye-to-eye all of the time. Just make sure you respect where your partner is coming from.
- Go Back to Courting: Renew the spark in your relationship by going back to your roots. You used to know what worked when it came to dating: flowers, the movies, or a walk in the park, but now, you barely have time for yourself let alone your partner. That’s not an excuse! If you want to get back to feeling the same way you did about your partner when you first started dating, you have to prioritize those special moments.
Recreate your favorite dates. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive: a simple coffee in the morning on a weekend can stimulate conversation between the two of you. When you create those dating moments, you’ll no longer long for the past because you’ll have those special moments in the present.
- Invest in One Another: Back when you were younger, you felt like you had all the time in the world to talk and do things together. But now, with kids or a busy work schedule, it feels like you never see each other. This void that is growing between the two of you can only be reversed if you start investing in one another. Remember when you two would talk about your dreams and goals? But then you got busy with “life” and let those things go by the wayside? Get back to it! Showing your partner you truly care that he wants to host grilling parties or that she wants to write her own cookbook is an immensely powerful way to re-forge those bonds of your relationship.
- Happiness… It’s YOUR Responsibility: Every time you see your partner miserable, a pang of guilt shoots through your spine. “What can I do to make him/her happy again?” NEWS FLASH: Your job is NOT to make your partner happy. Yes, providing them with support and encouragement, investing time in one another, and enjoying your time together is important and should be a pleasant experience for both of you, but for some people, it won’t be enough. You are the sole keeper of your happiness, and your partner is the sole keeper for theirs. Let go of the notion you are responsible for their happiness.
- Take a Timeout for Yourself: While “taking a break” may seem juvenile, there is something to be said for allocating your time back to yourself instead of to your partner 24/7. You are a human being, and you have needs, goals, and desires for your future. While some of those may align with your partner ’s goals, others might not, and that doesn’t make them any less important.
If you have a goal to hike the Appalachian Trail, but your partner can’t stand the outdoors, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue your passion. Taking that time back for yourself will actually make you value your relationship more, reigniting that spark once again.
- Seek Out Help: Doing it alone can be tough when you’re trying to rebuild the love in your relationship. Professional help from counselors or relationship specialists is always available to provide you with guidance throughout any stage of your relationship.
As a relationship specialist, I’ve helped numerous clients lift themselves off the relationship rock bottom and learn how to create that spark again.
“Only God knows how sad we were and how wonderfully enjoyable our life together is now. There are no words to express how grateful we are to her for reviving the deep mutual love and respect in our marriage. The big miracle is that we fell in love with each other all over again.” – Leila and Amin Khiabani
“Thanks to Dr. Simone, I now have a healthier and more loving relationship with myself and others in my life, and greater energy and motivation to achieve whatever I want. It goes without saying that I am a much happier, more hopeful, more successful person than I was before. Thank you, Dr. Simone. You proved to be in my life, the miracle worker you are reputed to be.” – Maryam Mirdar
“I am eternally grateful to Dr. Simone because with her generous and kind heart, rich experience, invaluable knowledge, wisdom and eloquence, she helped me open my eyes and see that I actually have numerous options. I found out that I could do something about what was wrong in my life and that I have the strength and power to conquer the obstacles and follow my dreams.” – Mary Shir
If you want to find your soul mate again in your partner and start living a more fulfilling and enjoyable life, Click Here to get in touch with me today. It is never too late to reignite your love for one another!